Change

Dipna told me this today during training. "You cannot commit ah?" That really came as a shock to me.

I had the whole afternoon after that to think to myself. Maybe she's right. I can't. I dont think I wanna. It's too much. I can't commit. Its so easy right, just yeah.

These 2 days since coach came back has been sooo freaking long. I woke up at 5am yesterday to go for a 1.5 hour gym observation. It was totally not worth my cab fare and energy to getting up. I spent the whole day out and only got home at 8plus at night. Today yet another day. I dont want to start with it.

Right now, I just need to get over my semester four exams, I need to run a race. I miss competing. I miss the feeling of being there.

My stomach hurts. I mean, abs... That are just no where close to be called abs. Yeah, they hurt. I cann't laugh.