You are the past, I am the present, I look into the future

Hi Diary,

Great-o. So I didn't manage it well, I started it good, I ended it the best I could. Bye bye useless-ness & un-civilization & welcome new-ness.

This whole Pacific School Games is in less than a week's time from now. I really don't know what I am doing, where I am heading. I just know I still gotta study, & I've always wanted to ask where does this "career" in sports lead me to. Can anyone answer my query? Where is my support? How often does success come to me anyway?

I feel I am always left alone to answer these questions myself.. To try & make myself feel better, I am positive to myself. But I don't think that's enough.... I am falling back, I need help. I want to give up & I could easily do so, but what's stopping me? I don't know. Why can't I just enjoy life without this pressure, without this tension, without everyone telling me to be a championn. What if I just can't be one, what if I don't see myself being one? Will everyone then just stop bugging me?

I want to live a normal life. Why can't I just?

Life bugs, it forever will.

Signing off...