Mein toh har gaya, Khambhakt ishq

I'll be so strong, it'll probably scare you away. Tmr, maybe tmr.... I will have to face my biggest decision. Do I want to go Germany? I'll be criticized, I'll be condemned but whatever you want to say, I'll be making it up there one day... So people of this world : SAY WHAT YOU WANT. BE'COS NOTHING MAKES ME INFERIOR WITHOUT MY CONSENT. NOT ANYMORE. Not ever again.

Goodnight!

Tune jo na kaha

tune jo na kaha mein woh sunta raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha
mmmm mmm mmmmmm… mmm mmmm

tune jo na kaha mein woh sunta raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha
jaane kiski humein lag gayi hai nazar
iss shehar mein na apna thikana raha
door chahat se mein apni chalta raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha

gar woh pehle se hai zyaada
khud se phir yeh kiya wada
khamosh nazrein rahe bezubaan
hmmmm…mmm…mmmm….
apno pehle si baatein hai,
bolo tho lab thar tharatein hai
raaz yeh dil ka na ho bayaan
ho gaya ke aasar koi hum pe nayi
humsafar mein toh hai humsafar hai nayi
door jatha raha paas aatha raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha
hmmm…mmm…mmmmm…

aaya woh phir nazar aise
baat chidne lagi phir se
aankhon mein chubta kal ka dhuaa
mmmm..mmm…mmm…
haal tera na hum sa hi
iss khushi mein kyun gham sa hi
basne laga kuyn phir woh jahan
woh jahan door jisse gaye te nikal
phir se yaadon ne kar di hai jaise pehal
lamha beeta hua dil dhukata raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha

tune jo na kaha mein woh sunta raha
khamakha bewaja khwaab bunta raha
jaane kiski humein lag gayi hai nazar
iss shehar mein na apna thikana raha
door chahat se mein apni chalta raha
bhujh gayi aag thi dhaag jalta raha

Dear God,

I never really needed you so badly but I need you now. I need you to help me get a final decision. Help me decided firmly what I need. Help me help my coach.. Help me make the ones around me happy, I need you to help me.

I feel I can see my future so blur, and everything is so changeable, so changeable it sometimes scares you away. It makes you want to just go the route that everybody takes and the route that is safe. But is that what I want to become unique?

Joys and Strains

/Edit

You know why I hated you all this while? Be'cos you never rlly cared. All you wanted was Fame for MY work. FAME for your GOD DAMN FUCK self. You wanted FAME for other people's HARD EARNED WORK. But you know what? You will NEVER get it. I will NEVER shine the light at you for MY hard work. Be'cos I worked HARD for it. For MYSELF. I don't need External monetary Motivation you give me to go the extra mile in my running career. Don't you DARE tell me I am weak in anyway. Be'cos I am stronger than you think I am. I rejoice for my step by step achievements, I don't criticise like you. I will do it for myself. Then we'll see who's just not good enough. I was right all along. You really are an IDIOT. With a capital I. I HATE you so damn much. I despice you!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

These past few days have been really so tough. Training and then internship. I'm practically Dying at internship be'cos training recovery and rest time will start kicking in when I realize I have to pick up equipments and place them elsewhere for the Asian Youth Games that is coming up next week. So much needs to be done, so much... Even the simple co-ordinating of Number tags and pinning them together with safety pins can be so tiring! Thank god for the air-coned room that was given to us today which will be used for International Judges on the AYG days. Damnnnn, they're treated like Queens and Kings.

I just woke up from a 2 hr nap, waiting for a delicious-ly made sphagetti dinner made by the Momster after which I will be off to bed again. My nights have been so much longer, in a way I feel good going offline before 11pm!

Tomorrow the Momster is going to Australia to see our new house there. It will also be her Birthday! I can't wait.

When the days get better and better without you

Today has been one of my longest days ever, but Im so glad I stayed out of home the whole day too! I just got back and I saw 3 BIG kick ass cockroaches in a span less than 6 hrs. Ultimate gross-ness. The first time was during internship when I was supposed to pick up some papers and there was this BIG one underneath it! Goodnesssssssss I thought I was going to pick it up, LUCKYLY it fled! :/

Anyway I went for some business talk at Sarah's office and O.M.G (Inserts Fiona's style) I am so interested. Just that my mum isn't so,.......

And im rather tired. I have to prepare mentally for tomorrow's gym session and internship.

Goodnight

Thats a job you want to do

/ Edit

I was just talking to Harvin online and I miss the memories... The P6 days where everything was a hell lot earlier. Where failed Maths wasn't really a big deal. Haha... The times in Singh Sabha for extra lessons, how we started talking, Gurpreet being my best friend, how we never lasted till today as best friends, haha omg. It went on for 2 hrs.

In a way Im glad we all move on, and we change.. Becos we become a better person for ourselves if not for others.

Cheers!
-------------------------------------
Training today was mad. It really was. The weather has been a bitch for quite long, but I haven't experienced it during training also, FOR A REAL LONG TIME. Until today, god decided to test my mind and see how long I could endure. I thank god, I completed my workout. Coach seemed pretty happy too. More importantly, I feel super duper accomplished. Due to this, I had my First Whole T-shirt Sweat Day... I think thats a record. The sun was rlly MAD. Mad.... My legs are a shade darker I can vouch for that... Ok enough.

I went to causeway after that light-headed becos the sun must have absorbed whatever much energy I had that I wasn't using to run to probably give it to the plants lah must be. I drank super damn good peach milkshake with P and K and ate Hot and Spicy-ly delicious (!!!!) Ban Mian. (Woah, I feel like eating again.)

Anyway tmr attachment resumes for me, and surprisingly, I can't wait to go back be'cos SAA doesnt seem so bad anyway.. My first session I learnt quite abit and I can actually write it in my essay!

Good day all

Everyone leaves....

Wow... Time flies and everything else does. I just came back from the airport after sending my cousins off to Australia. They're actuallly migrating. Like for real. Just a few months ago it felt like a dream that is so blur, and well... It just felt like "ahhh its a long way to go man". Srsly, that long way has come, and gone too. She probably just took off, I hope she has a wonderful time in Australia, meet the Love of her life hopefully, study hard and well.... just have fun!

I love you too Jaskiran. All the best cousin :)

And they also say.... Everyone leaves, so be aware if you feel you're slipping away, slipping away from the ones you love.

I read somewhere that said you should not expect things that you want to happen becos it is usually the case that it doesnt happen. So f-ing true.

Changing you, changing me

Kayo key Pyar karna teh Pyar vech Kurbani dehna sirf Punjabi-ah nu a-onda :)

" haye oye kuriyeeeee
khere pindo aayi ae
sadhi JIND lain lai "

I should have known better... Haha. Life is such a bitch

Tip # 2

Never do anything for anyone. Just do it yourself and for yourself.

2 people have been pissing the SHIT outta me these few days. I wonder if Hypocrisy is the new thing now. Ha.

Zzzzzzzzz

I am Finally starting my attachment with SAA tomorrow for the 5th all comers. I get to watch desmond hurdle as well as do at least 5 hours of attachment. Thank god, I mean at least I will have 95 hours left right. *phew*

Anyway, I just came back from the Sports Award thingy that I went to support Calvin Kang for! Congratzz again Kang for the award! And and I saw so many people there. Like Aqilah! Totally did not expect her to be there.... She looked so pretty in her top, (I hope she sends me a picture of us) and Mark was there tooo.. The food was alright. I loved the Fish and Prawns with nuts as well as the noodles and honeydew pudding!!! I want food now.......

Ok but for now, I need more rest. Sleep and recovery before tomorrow morning's training and attachment in the afternoon. I am so excited. Goodnight world

dekh de tujhko dil ko mere chaan athaan hai

I can't seem to fall asleep. I've tried, twice... After which I gave up and came online. I have been face-booking, trying to install the twitter thing into my phone, connecting my facebook and twitter account that failed terribly, and yet.... I'm still so awake. It is 3.12am already and I have a LONGGGG day to go. Massage at 10am, training at 1pm, sports award dinner at 7pm. I have to get to bed, by hook or by crook.

School has to really start for me. My discipline is getting No damn where. I need a timetable. A strict one. A "no choice, die die have to follow" timetable. A disciplinary timetable. A...... Yeah, a timetable. I need money too. I am broke. Ok, goodnight. I hope I get the shiok-est massage ever and for one hr I am able to sleep in peace.

Ok, peace.

I'm going to be just fine.....

I love this picture of Lauryn Williams, even more her. I want to be just like her... You know, muscularly strong, and have her speed, her frequency ... After all we already share the same height, and she just proves that SHORT people are as talented.

Everytime I tell myself you care, you want to care, you do.... I fall down even more. I hurt myself even more finding out you just don't... But I just don't seem to understand, do I?

Paranoria

Just when I think I finally can understand you... you do something that causes me to change my mind immediately....

Always, forever.

Life Tip # 1

When going for interviews, never tell the full truth. Be'cos they don't rlly care what YOU have or do.

They say.... Everything happens for a reason. Does this include them?

I did not get the internship at SRU becos of a main reason that stated " Your training starts from 4 to 7pm and that is when we need our interns to work " But I already confirmed that I CAN shift my trainings to meet the time scheduled.

Srsly. Can I just have a FUCKING break.

The pursuit of happYness

If there's one movie to watch, then it'll have to be the pursuit of happyness. Truly inspiring movie.

Person 1: "I told her I don't want to ever see the F word on this phone again."
Person 2: "Then you can still ask her to go buy Rojak for you ah"
Person 1: "I don't care."

I wonder why life's been so great these few days.

Another fucked day.................

I passed all my exams with colours flying better than I expected. I expected a C for one of my papers, I really did. I started studying for that paper 1 day before be'cos I just felt it was useless. I'm so glad at least ONE thing went the way I NEEDED it to. Well, for my studies at least. Now, what are the chances of NTU.......?

Training starting in just a bit, I'm off.....

IM SO FUCKING MAD because nothing.... I REALLY MEAN nothing is going the way I want it to. I missed 4 freaking buses today, every SINGLE time I walk to the bus stop, my bus leaves. Maybe I'm getting a god damn hint that says I MISS EVERYTHING GOOD that comes.... And it just fucking leaves. Yeah, fuck. It just leaves.... Who am I keeding? Every fucking thing leaves, deosnt it?

I wish I can just have a good enough day.... FOR once. I've had enough of 2nd bests. For fuck's sake.

The zoo

Yesterday I went to the Zoo and I saw all the animals that I have been waiting to see for the past dont-know-how-many-years. I saw the otters, chimpanizes, tigers, lions, cheetahs, lepoards, snakes,turtles, ponies, elephants + the elephant show, horses, goats + one female goat getting raped, peacock, giraffes, zebras, hippopotamus, polar bears, penugines, deers, .... Well basically I saw a lot of animals in the span of 4 hours, non stop walking and snapping pictures of cute and ugly animals/creatures. I enjoyed my trip to the zooo and I cannot wait for another trip there, hopefully to spend more time with the cute little creatures of this world.

Muscle cramps pls go away you're killing me

Bila bila

My blog seems to be my second best friend now, becos other than my True-real life best friend, it's here that I always blog my emotions to. I went for my interview at SRU today, and Sam Chan seems like a nice person. I really truly hope I can get my internship there... Furthermore, SRU is so nearby home! Like just a BUS away, and I am in no mood to look for another organization, another interview day, date.... TIME.

Yes, most of my time is just wasted. I wish to get really started on a job and at the same time training too. I'm starting to get back on to training and thinking positive. I hope that stays for good *Cross fingers* That aside, I am aching from muscle crampzzzzzz ( real terrible ones ) and just cramped my whole hamstring when I followed Manisha for her interview today. It still hurts like crazy! :( Gila gila

MY TEAMMATES ARE BACKKKK AND SO IS COACH! :D

Bewildment

Today has been of of those days where most call it their "wasted days". Not wasted in the drunk kind of sense. Wasted becos I did NOTHING constructive.... I wish I had training today, so that I can focus on running instead of some useless stuff that keep racing through my mind. I woke up at 12pm today to send an e-mail to SRU for my internship that I pray to get, and ever since then have been on the computer. Did not step out of the house becos someone says I am not allowed to go out on Sundays. Except for ONE sunday every month. So technically, I'm partly grounded, how wonderful. (I seem to have the "I FEEL SO GREAT" feeling now, with much sarcasm added)

Maybe that is the reason for the change of my URL. I'm not so keen on locking it yet, but if I see there must be a need to, I definitely will. I kinda love my new blog skin, also be'cos its colourful and it has my own PERSONAL Abraham name on it. :) Maybe it's also becos I never had a blog skin ever since I got this blog, but now I do! Anyway, crap aside... I can't wait for my interview tmr. Lucks to me!

I have detest in my blood

I stand up for my rights, and I don't see why I should not.

I am back from the Chalet that we had which was super duper fun, I enjoyed every minute of it, from dancing to cycling till the wee hours of the night, the bitching sessions ... Etc. For now, I cannot go on, but I definitely need a PRIVATE blog to RANT every bit of my HATE emotion.

Whatever anyone does, DO NOT EVER ASSUME. Not especially to me, about me. BYE

Wondering

Training without a coach and teammates sucks terribly.. Besides the fact that I had to do GYM all by myself. I am aching EVERY single where in my body. Every muscle fiber is switching and contracted becos of the weak muscles that haven't been strengthened yet up till today. (Sorry if I dont make sense, half my brain isn't functioning too) I thank god it's almost probably the end of the week soon and I have recovery massage and Hot/Cold bath later that is (HAS TO) make me feel a whole lot better. I knew tough training was going to be like that. I knew it. :S My hands are shaking.

Whatever comes, comes. If it's to be, then it's up to me! It really is.......

Becoming me

It's mid week, and soon the week ends are coming nearer. I totally cannot wait for Chalet with the coolest ever people on Friday to Saturday with alot of fun (needless to say). Tmr early early morning some of my teammates will be flying off to Vietnam for the SEA Jrs so to all of you : ALL THE BESTEST, COME BACK A BIGGER CHAMPION, MAYBE STAR KA RAT TOO. Loves & kisses! I will be training alone too, something I do not enjoy doing especially since it's going to be gym too :( Oh well.

I want to go to the zoo damn badly. I want to see the tigers, sit on the elephants, eat Ben and Jerry's Ice cream, watch my best friend's hippo friends talk to her in their language, and so much more. Zooo soon! :)